A Crazy Idea

A girl likes to walk in the rain. It frees her, releases all the tears she had been struggling to keep these last few days. All her life she has struggled to remain strong for her family and her friends but there are days when she simply feels alone. It’s disturbing her that she feels like this when he isn’t around, on days when they see each other and act as if they were strangers. She misses the way he smiles and the way he opens doors for her. She likes the way he laughs when she says something seriously because even though he is laughing, she can see in his eyes that he is hanging on to every word she says. She has become used to the feeling that he is right beside her when she needs someone, something and the way their eyes meet even though they both have bad eyes. She misses the way he pretends to smirk and sticks his tongue out when he thinks he catches her talking to her friends about him.

But this is one of the things she fears – telling her friends about him. Because she might be the only one who notices the thing that he does; that they might have experienced the same thing with him. And the thing that she fears the most is doing, saying something wrong.  She is young and no matter how much she understands the world around her, there are times when she is as clueless as anyone as to what to do. Ignorance is a big part of her fear. Not knowing what to do, where she stands when it comes to him is the hardest part of seeing him every day. Not having much common friends makes that even more difficult. She knows that oftentimes, he makes an effort to be with her, tease her and include her in conversations, but on days when they do not talk at all, much less look at each other, she wonders if it was all figments of her over-active imagination. Maybe it was just a daydream that seemed really real?

But when she told her friends about him, they agreed with her. They had wondered at his actions, guessed his motivations. And now, some light. On their part at least. Not so much for the girl since she is still confused as to his feelings. So now, she is not alone in watching him. As reluctant as she was to tell her story, she finally did so because she felt that if she kept it a secret any longer, she would lose it all.



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