Haunted walls

Hey you. I know I’m older, but not necessarily better. And on days when my patience is worn thin, I want you to know that there has never been any competition between us. If that’s what you think. I’ve always been proud of you. A little envious, maybe, but not green enough to stop you from running after your dreams. No, it was and never will be like that. We have our own lives to live, different destinies to fulfill.

The way I see it, there is a place called home. And yet another one that’s called a house. They are a few letters away from each other but miles apart in real life. They both have doors and windows. Walls and floors. Light and water. We are the rooms. Some of us have common walls, thin enough to let the other hear what goes on inside.  There are those with the same floors, that sometimes what spills here leaks into the next room. There are rooms with broken lights, but even a tiny crack beneath the door can brighten this room up. 

But still, there are rooms hidden so far up that no light from the lower rooms can help it. As seen from the outside, these rooms look normal, even magnificent. And though only cobwebs and shadows lurk in these rooms, it is still a part of the house. And someday, someone brave enough will enter this room and clean it. No matter how hard all that dust and dirt fight this someone, the room will one day be like the others, bright and livable. 

This is what I hope for. But right now, all I can hear and feel is my heart breaking because of how hard you try to push me down and show the world every crack I have. There are things that I will never be able to do. I accept that completely. I just hope that you find it in your heart and mind that not all people are invincible to rude words. We can’t all go around everyday carrying that shield of indifference and be deaf to the world.

Whatever I lack in intellect or confidence, I make up for with persistence and determination. I don’t know how far this will take me, but I swear that I’m not one to give up easily. That’s me, thought there is no reason I should be explaining this to you. And I don’t know what you’re going through now, because you refuse to talk about it. What I do see is that you’re putting up walls again. Just like you did when we were younger. I can’t blame you, because despite all the words that I have for everyone else, there are still walls I refuse to take down. 

So what’s my point? I see and value the things you do. I long for the day that you may learn to do the same for me and everyone else. Not everyone can be brightest. Not everyone can be the best. But we can at least try to live without haunting others.

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